Dec 26 2008
Preparing for Nothing
Some might call it mere worry, this tendency of ours to plan and plan, practice and practice, all for something that never happens.
I’ve been doing quite a bit lately, and I’ve done some major things in the past as well that fit the pattern:
1. I made tons of cookies for my daughter’s cookie party, but most went to waste because the snow kept most people away.
2. I’ve practiced HOURS a day to play Christmas songs for church services, but the last three services (Sunday, Christmas Eve, and Christmas morning) have all been cancelled. I’m missing the next Sunday (we were delayed going to family for Christmas), and the following Sunday is Epiphany, meaning I won’t have any reason to play Christmas stuff.
3. I once wrote two poems to inspire a music professor to write a song for a benefit concert. He then flaked and didn’t compose anything at all (let alone use either of the poems).
4. I have now nearly finished my third novel, yet so far none have earned me a cent for all the years it took to write them.
I’ve also done all sorts of other prep work for stuff that never happens. Now, you might think, what a waste! You might consider the option of not preparing anything, just in case your efforts are wasted.
But is anything ever truly wasted? If my novels never get published, does that make writing them not worth it? Didn’t it still give me something, if nothing more than a chance to dream, to escape my current reality, or lessen my own insanity? The two poems I wrote were both good, and each poem I write makes me (slowly) a better poet, helps me be more aware of the movement involved in language, on its images and sound patterns.
Even if practicing Christmas music doesn’t mean I play much of it in church this year, I always have next year, and I have music in my own home until then. The truth is, I love to play piano, and I love it even more if I play it well, and I won’t get there unless I practice, and practice, and practice. My efforts simply can’t be a waste, for they make me better, little by little. Who knows what a year more of practice will do for me?
I suppose my only question for myself is this: When do I not make the effort I should because I fear it will be wasted?
I know the answer to that question, and it may very well show up on tomorrow’s blog. Do you have your own answer? What do you regret not trying?
- Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savor, wherewith shallit be salted? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Matthew 5:13
- Is Brooke White Preparing For A New Album? She Isn’t Saying - American Idol 7 - Brooke White
- Preparing a big ass Turkey
- Preparing a big *** Turkey
- Preparing for Land Loss in England
I would say it is ALWAYS the journey, and the destination rarely comes into play.
After all, when do we really ever get to a destination, in any real sense. When is anything truly over?
I find that I am more afraid to put too much preparation into something for fear of it not working out. I am especially that way with cooking. If something takes too much preparation, I probably will not try it, because if it doesn’t work out, I will be that much more disappointed. I’ve been known to cry over spagetti sauce in the past.
Yet, I put a ton of preparation into my Family Christmas Eve Party. I marinated my roast a week ago and cleaned surfaces in my house that had not seen the light of day for months. I spent the day before cooking goodies and all morning the day of. When I put that much preparation into a meal, it is important to me to eat it when it is warm so that it can best be enjoyed. So, when my mother-in-law was two hours late to my party and my meal was prepared and ready to be eaten, do I ignore all my preparation and just wait and serve a cold meal? -or do I start without her? See, the preparation that I did placed more importance on the end product for me. I was willing to start without her, and I risked appearing unChristmas-spirited.
So, is the journey still better?