Feb 18 2009
The End is Near
Well, they’ve done it. My church has finally found a music director.
So that should mean I’m done, right? Well… not quite. He lives in California, so he has to get all his stuff together and move up here. That means we have at least another month to wait. So, today, mixed in with all the other obligations, I’ll need to figure out what I’m playing for Sunday… four pieces of music. I’ll need to practice, practice, practice every day for the rest of the week so that no one seems too bothered that I’m playing instead of him (he played last Sunday, as part of the interview process).
Some of you might think I’d be disappointed after all this time filling in. I’ve been playing, for the most part, since September. I might be feeling a sense of loss. I might be regretting that I didn’t just apply for the job when it came open, biting the bullet and practicing my heart out so that I could get good enough to do it.
But it just isn’t so. I feel relief. Sheer relief. No regret. No sadness. No disappointment that, in a month, I won’t go so early to the church to run through everything. Or spend the few minutes before church starts frantically wiping the sweat off my palms. Or listen to the sermon to figure out when it’s ending, so that I can get up to the piano in time for the next part. Or feel embarrassed when I flub a song I thought I’d really worked on.
It’s funny, but several things have been working themselves out of my schedule lately. Because of budget cuts, I won’t be teaching in the spring term, beginning in March. That will leave me only four of my six jobs, freeing up my time tremendously (even now I am facing a stack of about 20 essays to grade, and that will continue through mid-March).
All this shifting has to mean something. Maybe it means I’ll have time for more writing, more time to really spend on my kids during the day, instead of grading. Maybe it means I need to refocus on the projects I’ve let slip. Maybe it means something else is coming. Usually the change is an improvement–at least, I always seem to be able to think it is (part of my optimism).
Whatever it is, I can’t wait. The month can’t go fast enough for me.
I think it will be. I’m actually beginning work on the regional ghost book… I’m going to spend the next few weeks making a list of newspapers, readying a press release, etc. I’ll send it out the week I give my students their class final, knowing I’ll have more time once that week is over.
That will be better timing than last time. I sent off the press release in May, days before my son was born. I had ten messages about ghost stories waiting on me when I got back from the hospital (BAD, BAD timing).