shakespearemom

You know the feeling: nobody understands you. No one sees what you are going through. No one can possibly see the world through your eyes, see your pain, sense your true level of frustration, notice you. The feeling might come at work, or at home (I remember an ad where dishes are washed, diapers changed, etc., all by unseen hands), or online. You think nobody hears you, or if they do, they aren’t really listening. 

What can you do? You can start screaming at people around you, biting at them in the same way Harry Potter snapped at his friends in book 5. Not very effective, really. It works well to chase people away. You can also give up entirely, playing the martyr, ending your long suffering by tossing your novel in the trash (nobody wants to read it anyway, you might say). 

Or you can ask for help. 

It’s tough. Tougher if you’ve never done it. It means you have to put your own emotional vulnerability in front of people. And they might scoff. They might ignore you still. More than likely, though, they have similar feelings of their own–or have had them–and they will reach out and reassure you. 

I thought about this as I read one of my favorite blogs, and it’s funny that it came from her, since she just received an award on Today.com and her blog seemed to be going strong. But her latest blog entry was a little plea for help, a plea that someone–anyone–reply to a blog so that she knew they were there. I did, and I was one of many who wrote back, the unseen readers she’d had all along without knowing, since they hadn’t written a response to any of her entries. You should check it out, and give her a few words of encouragement… she needs them right now.

I’m lucky. My sister checks my blog out several times a day (thanks, Sis!), writing encouraging words at every turn. And I have a playwrights group now, though I don’t meet with them as much as I’d like. They read my stuff, give me feedback, and then let me do the same for them. We support each other as we all struggle to work on our craft. I have moms to turn to when the kids drive me insane, and friends who share some similar struggles, or who like to read my writing and give me a gut reaction.

If you feel alone, find a network. It might be online, it might be a meet-twice-a-month-at-a-coffee-club sort of group. It could be for moms, or dads, or writers, or readers, or actors, artists, whatever. And if you can’t find one (craigslist is a great place to start), make one up, and post meeting times. Meet at the library–it’s free–and see who else shows up. 

Believe it or not, your cry for attention may be exactly what others need… most of us go through life far more lonely than we should be, and one person, by reaching for help, can change the lives of many more who feel the same way.

So reach out. See who reaches back. You might be surprised.

Just don’t give up…

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