shakespearemom

As you may have already guessed from the title, this is your chance to write something particularly distasteful, especially to me. Choose your words carefully now, for I want you to create a short selection of the most flowerful, obnoxious, irritatingly pompous language imaginable. Try to use the biggest words imaginable (use a thesaurus if it helps) to describe the simplest, most mundane act.

My example:

Olivia slipped her silken limb gracefully among countless water molecules, aided in her quest by the magic found in her secret bottle filled with a new elixir, one destined to wash the grime from even the most intrepid oil-laden china. As surely as her hands flitted like hummingbirds, swerving past the once shiny objects deep within her own private ocean, the elixir came to her aid, cleansing them before her very eyes. “Ah!” she sighed. “To have such magic!”

(I would have kept writing, but I had to stop and puke. In fact, I actually had to come back and write more on the second go at it.)

Now it’s your turn to make me puke. Get unreal, and make your words ridiculous.