Mar 25 2009
Create the Mood
To go along with yesterday’s blog, here’s an exercise on creating the mood in your writing. Now remember, you don’t have at your disposal the same elements that movie makers have… music, scenery, lighting, etc. But you DO have all of these in your writing… and that is why your writing should be tightly controlled at all times, so that you pay attention to all of these elements when you create the mood for your piece.
Here’s a bit of dialogue between two people:
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know.”
“Can’t you stay longer?”
“I wish I could.”
“What should I do?”
“Go on. Just go on.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“You can.”
“Come back. Please.”
“If I can, I will.”
Not much to go on, is it? Well, that’s intentional. Now it’s your job to fill in the scene. You can change the dialogue when necessary, but that shouldn’t be your focus. Instead, set the scene, use your words carefully, create the mood of the piece so we feel what you want us to, sense the world you have created with more than our minds. I’ll bring in my own example once a few of you have tried your own out.
Remember, set the scene. Put us in the mood. Give the passage its meaning through what you write and how you write it.
Most importantly, don’t spend two hours on this… give it a few minutes, and show us what you come up with!
Yes, you are! I’m planning my own. Perhaps in a few hours I’ll get to it, since I have several chores to do first.
Okay, it’s driving me crazy… I can’t put it off until later:
They’d been sitting in the dank basement for at least an hour when the pounding started. Glancing at each other, they said nothing at first. It was dark, too dark to see anything real, but Kent pointed the infrared camera towards the sound, a reverberating, metallic sort of banging, as if someone with steel-toed boots were kicking the other side of the wall.
Then it stopped as suddenly as it began.
Sophie got up, stepping towards where the sound had been.
Kent grabbed her by the arm. “Where are you going?”
“I don’t know.”
Kent, still holding her arm, wanted to argue with her, but as he opened his mouth, they both heard a whisper: “Can’t you stay longer?”
Sophie backed up against Kent. He could hear her breath quicken. Was she scared? Sophie was never scared. She groped behind her, finally locating Kent’s hand. He squeezed it. “I wish I could,” she answered the whisper.
The pounding began again.
“What should I do?” She whispered to Kent.
“Go on. Just go on.” Kent squeezed her hand again.
The pounding grew louder, thundering along the left wall, bang, bang, bang, bang…. Kent could feel the familiar tingling on his neck, though he couldn’t tell whether it was from the pounding or from the scent of Sophie’s hair.
“I don’t know if I can,” she gasped back, turning her head towards him, nudging it under his chin. He put an arm around her.
“You can, Sophie. Just walk.”
Sophie lifted her head, turned, and peered into the darkness. Slowly, as if trying to avoid detection, she led Kent up the unstable staircase. The pounding stopped as they reached the stairs.
“Come back. Please.” Kent could have sworn the voice was right behind him, breathing on him as it spoke. Then, suddenly, the weight of a cold hand landed on his shoulder, holding him fast. Kent stopped, frightened beyond measure, too afraid to move. The fingers clawed into him, pinning him in mid-air.
Sophie tried to lead him forward, but when he didn’t move, she turned around. He caught the whites of her eyes, and she must have figured out the situation, for she glanced around him, telling the presence, “If I can, I will.”
The arm released him, just as the whisper said, “See you soon, then, Sophie.” Kent caught those four words as he thundered after her up the stairs.
He vowed he would NEVER repeat those words to Sophie.
Thanks! I’m gearing up for my ghost book research. I can’t say I had any ideas at first, but I loved what you came up with, and I knew I had to create something very different.
With both of yours, you thought carefully how the dialogue could fit in a new way. And both pieces work beautifully as a result.
Thanks for participating day after day. You really are amazing!
That’s because you’re brilliant, Stephanie…